Hear the Drummer (Get wicked) everybody, the 90s are trickling back.
Here’s my list of things I won’t take deep offense to if they insist on returning. (And a couple I absolutely fucking will.)
1. Kate Moss Style Slip Dresses (Hold the sheer and the side of Naomi Campbell though)
Not the actual slips Courtney Love paraded in her heroin daze. Not nighties, but dresses made to look like slips. And preferably ones where you cannot see my undies or nipples. But no promises on that one. JK.
2. Chanel’s Rouge Noir Lipstick.
The first time I ever wore Chanel’s Rouge Noir lipstick I went to a nightclub in Milan and pranced around thinking I was THE SHIT. And I was the only one who did.
This time around (and I still have a tube or two of the original. I am sure it smells like old lady make-up at this point, but whatever) I will wear it a little more subtly.
The moral of this story is, if you bought Rouge Noir the first time around, it may not be as flattering as it once was. Just Sayin’.
3. 1994’s Gucci Velvet Anything
I was bat-shit obsessed with this collection when it came out in 1994.
I may still be now.
Tom Ford’s first collection for Fall 1995 put Gucci back on the map. I predict velvet hiphuggers any minute now.
But like the above and not the plastic type below. Who doesn’t love a velvet neck ribbon?
5. Fanny Packs/Bum Bags
Think about how brilliant they really are. Hands free? Check! Secure? Check! Slimming? Well, no, but I am willing to overlook that. They just need a small makeover and boom! They’ll be awesome.
And Now for the Stuff that Needs to Stay in The 90s.
1. Spice Girl Shoes
I didn’t do it then and I won’t do it now.
2. The Rachel.
3. Poorly Appropriated Grunge
Nothing against grunge. Who doesn’t love a flannel shirt? And Modern Grunge is alive and kicking already. Evidenced by the relevance of this Vogue editorial from 1992.
Nope, I am talking about when 90s designers made ridiculously expensive clothing with the purpose of making the wearer look homeless (I am looking at you, Martin Margiela- that rope-belt was just too far).
I know, I know, it’s Fashion. It knows no limits. It just seemed so antithetical to the entire grunge “movement.”
Oh, there’s more, there are many more. Giant Crucifixes? MC Hammer pants? Dee-lite?
It’s all a hairs breath from ending up on the racks at Forever 21 so what’s the point vilifying it?