You know who’s the best surfer in the world? The one having the most fun. (Ancient Greek Saying)
Perhaps best said by reality TV star Bethenny Frankel, “Everyone wants to be friends with the person having fun.” I think she was talking to her kid, but the concept applies to dating too.
I’m not saying you need to enroll at Clown Academy, nor should you Google one liners to zing up a conversation. You don’t have to be funny per se, just save the melodrama for your therapist. If I wanted to hear all your problems, I would set a timer for 50 minutes, sit in an armchair smoking a pipe and charge you three hundred dollars an hour while asking about your childhood. Same goes for your date.
We all have baggage. Everyone. The trick is to try being the you without baggage that you want, even just for a while. You know that friend you have who is not as smart/good-looking/ pleasant or hygienic as you but always manages to get all the attention? Those people are the masters at projecting fun while hiding all the insecurities. People are drawn to them. There’s no way to hide all your past scars and anxieties forever, but try putting them on the back burner in the beginning. It’s easier to forgive someone their crazy if you get to know their awesomeness first.
What the fuck do I know, you ask? This: I have watched people, loads and loads of people, at bars. And I have seen the way that people who believe their own schtick can pull off feats of inhuman ability. Some of them, possibly, are sociopaths, sure. But they’re on to something. Actually believing you are something isn’t always a bad thing. Unless it’s something stupid, like “I’m Superman, so I can totes drive drunk.”