In Defense of Shoes that Cost More Than $9.99

Back in the 17th Century, when I was selling rich people lots of champagne and Jidori chicken ( I bar tended in a fancy restaurant), I used to come home late at night and buy expensive shoes on the interwebs. In particular that one place called Ebays. I am not going to say that oftentimes there was wine involved in said purchases, but it certainly would have facilitated pushing a button saying “Buy-It-Now.” Sometimes the shoes looked like this:

(Although this shoe didn’t fit and I couldn’t carve off more than two toes and still stand upright. I resold it for a profit though, So I am not completely stupid.)

So, anyway. I noticed that these expensive shoes that I had nowhere to go in, on the rare occasions I wore them, were really comfortable. So comfortable that when my wine fueled shopping bonanza’s occurred I felt less guilty about buying them. They were good for my feet! They were handmade by people who spent their lives learning how to make expensive shoes! They come in a beautiful cardboard box! I told myself anything.

I no longer sell Jidori chicken. So my Ebay purchase history reads a little more like a bargain rack at TJ Maxx than it used to. But I still have all those lovely, handmade shoes, and I still wear all of them. Sparingly of course, so as to stretch out their lifetimes over mine.

And what I have learned, and learn again and again, when I buy eye-catching little snazzies like these:

Is that $9.99 buys you shoes that may look cute, but just don’t feel that great. The sizing was a “9 to 10”  Very scientific. I think they may be made of paper too. And I am trying to look at purchasing in a new way. But I couldn’t resist. Because they were $9.99. And Zebra.


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